After wondering around looking at a map I had on my phone, having a burrito, and being stopped by a group of young banking students to get a photo with us, we found the CATDOG Cafe. Actually the name in Korean was Dogs VS. Cats Cafe, but I think that's a bit misleading because no battling occurred. At least not when we were there.
Entrance fee was 8000W (5.5€/4.7£), and included a drink. Most of the drinks on the menu were coffee based (BLEUGHR) so I had a "peperment" tea (snicker snicker). After that, it was shoes off, slippers on, hand sanitizer, and if you wanted you could get a hideous maxi skirt from the front desk to wear over your jeans so you don't get covered in fur. To that I say pfffft, do I look like an amateur to you? One floor was cats, one floor was dogs. We decided to start with cats because god damn it, I just love cats so much.
We sat down with out teas, and waited for the cats to flock to me like I was Snow White. After a few minutes of no cat action, George said out loud what we were both thinking: "These cats are like strippers". Damn right, little furry whores. Customers could purchase little bags of cat treats from the front desk, and the cats knew this. God damn hustlers, they would only flock to the people with abundance of snacks, and let them touch their tummies. I was very upset, I had wanted to build a meaningful feline connection, not a cheap one night stand where I would shove dollas in the form of cat treats to their hairy cat knickers. Distraught.
"I can has a treat, you can has a lapdance?"
"Nvm, this Korean couple next to you has some."
"Hiya guys, you looking to buy tonight?"
Barely able to hide the disgust on her face, "Fucking time wasters.."
This little one is strung out to hide the ugly reality of what her life has become.
"Treats?"
"No treats."
And just then, a cat appeared from the mist. A real old fashioned gentleman cat.
He's a Scottish Foldear, that's why he looks grumpy. But he was very lovely.
I then made friends with the Korean girl pictured in one of the first photos, and she gave me some cat treats. I felt bad because I had cursed them previously. So I went and gave majority of them to this cat who loved me even when I was broke. The rest I made rain on the sluts.
Last goodbyes with our own cat, it was time to go upstairs to have a go at the dogs.
Upstairs the vibe was the same: money or animal treats makes the world go round, and unfortunately here we couldn't find that one old, wise soul who could see past all of that and accept our tummy touches.
George can read hangul (I know, BACK OFF LADIES or I'll bite you in the face) so he was able to translate some of the dogs names. The sausage dog was called Limousine, the pug was called Mandu. Mandu is a Chinese dumpling, with a really wrinkly and fold-y surface, and it does really look like a pug's face. The big white lab was called Banana. I don't know why. Maybe he likes bananas or it's a reference to penis size.
Notes from fans.
All joking aside, the place was very clean and well run. The animals had a "back stage" room where they could go if they didn't felt like being with a ton of people, and the one's that did enjoy the hubbub but didn't feel like being touched, has special ribbons which meant they be cranky.
Before heading home, we ticked one more thing from my list of things I wanted to do here, as it fit with the cat theme well.
Plastic food. Note the official Hello Kitty hotdog.
Mint chochip frappuchino and a tiramisu. The tiramisu was just a cheesecake.
"Nom nom, give kitty all your tampons and sanitary pads!!"
I asked George if the men's room had a Hello Kitty urinal of her with her eyes closed and mouth open but he denied it. Maybe he was just embarrassed.
Upeita kahvilota! Kissa floor näyttää siistiltä, diilerikissa awwwss nii söpö. Hellokittykahvila näyttää just nii ällöltä et sellaseen on pakko päästä vielä joskus. Ja sää näytät happylta :---))
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